A US-based Nigerian woman, Blessing Nwachukwu, has revealed that she chose not to have a bride price paid on her during her wedding.
Now divorced, Nwachukwu shared her perspective in a Facebook post on Monday, March 3.
According to her, she made this decision after witnessing her cousin’s bride price negotiation, where she felt women were treated like commodities.
“The moment I knew I didn’t want a bride price paid for me was when I sat through my cousin’s bride price negotiation in our village. Typically, women aren’t allowed in the room, but since I was the photographer, I was permitted to stay,” she wrote.
“I watched as they haggled over the bride price, as if my cousin and her fiancé weren’t just two people in love. It felt like a transaction rather than a union. At one point, the in-laws even threatened to walk away. Eventually, they settled on a sum that, in today’s value, would run into millions—on top of additional items like goats and yams. Their justification? She had a master’s degree from the UK, among other things.”
Following that experience, Nwachukwu told her mother she had no interest in a traditional marriage that required bride price payments. Instead, she would only accept a symbolic amount, such as a token $1 or the lowest Nigerian currency denomination as dowry.
“I am not for sale, no matter how it’s framed. When I first shared this view around 2013, the internet went wild. People warned I would regret my decision. Well, 12 years later, I still stand by it. I don’t want a bride price paid on me.”
She questioned why her fiancé should have to pay to marry her, emphasizing that marriage is a partnership.
“If my husband-to-be is expected to be billed, then his family should also bill mine—just to keep things fair. I am not a product to be bought. Tradition or not, I won’t risk hearing, ‘I paid for you’ in the future. Is marriage one-sided? Is the joy, the responsibility, or even the children one-sided? No—it’s one union, one home, one family.”
She concluded by asserting that her stance is personal and firm.
“If my views upset you, that’s your concern. It’s my life and my choice. You can pay your fiancée’s bride price if you choose, but that’s why I’m not your fiancée. I’ve always had a different perspective on life.”
