I feel guilty about using a small portion of my personal account to pay for subscriptions on the adult site OnlyFans without telling my wife.
Although we’ve agreed that we don’t need to disclose every detail of our spending and she knows I sometimes watch free p*rn, this feels different.
Is it considered financial infidelity?
Vicky Reynal Responds:
This dilemma raises two key questions: one about sexual infidelity and another about financial boundaries.
There are clear distinctions between watching free porn and subscribing to OnlyFans – one concerns the nature of the interaction, and the other the cost. Unlike consuming random, pre-recorded content, OnlyFans offers a more personalized experience, where you follow specific creators and potentially engage in varying levels of digital intimacy. While it remains virtual, it may feel more personal than scrolling through anonymous videos.
Consider this: how would you feel if your wife subscribed to a particular male creator on OnlyFans? Your guilt may stem from the fact that this hasn’t been openly discussed or agreed upon in terms of relationship boundaries. Whether or not it counts as infidelity depends on both of your perspectives. If either you or your wife believes it crosses a line, then it does—regardless of the financial cost.
The financial side is another factor. Every couple has different views on discretionary spending. Some may consider spending on Ubers indulgent, while others don’t mind it for comfort. If you both agreed that each partner can spend discretionary money without full transparency, your OnlyFans subscriptions should fall within that scope—especially if it’s only a small amount.
Think of it this way: if it weren’t tied to sexual or emotional intimacy, it would be similar to spending £20 on a poker night. As long as it’s kept reasonable and within your discretionary budget, it may not need to be brought up or addressed at all.
Ultimately, open communication and mutual understanding are key to resolving any potential concerns.
