Britney Spears has revealed harrowing details about the secret abortion she underwent, aged 19, claiming she can still remember the ‘excruciating’ pain.
The pop superstar, 41, has chosen to open up like never before in her new tell-all memoir, The Woman In Me, in which she candidly recalls her decision to terminate a pregnancy in 2000 during her relationship with Justin Timberlake, 42.
Keeping the abortion secret
In a new excerpt obtained by AP, Britney explains how she was left ‘crying and sobbing’ after choosing to undergo the procedure at home in a desperate bid to keep the abortion completely secret from the public and her own family.
‘It was important that no one find out about the pregnancy or the abortion, which meant doing everything at home,’ she wrote.
Recalling the procedure, Spears describes the physical pain as ‘excruciating’.
‘I kept crying and sobbing until it was all over,’ she states.
‘It took hours, and I don’t remember how it ended, but I do, 20 years later, remember the pain of it, and the fear.’
The singer made it clear that she was aware some might judge her for the decision, but insisted that it was a situation she had never expected to go through.
In an excerpt previously released by People, Spears explained that she did not go through with the pregnancy because N*Sync star Justin ‘wasn’t ready’ for the responsibilities of parenthood and thought, at 19, the pair were both too young.
Details of moment she made the decision
The Toxic hitmaker who dated Justin from 1999-2002, details the moment she had to make the ‘agonizing’ decision after conceiving in late 2000.
She writes: ‘It was a surprise, but for me, it wasn’t a tragedy. I loved Justin so much. I always expected us to have a family together one day. This would just be much earlier than I’d anticipated.
‘He said we weren’t ready to have a baby in our lives, that we were way too young. I’m sure people will hate me for this, but I agreed not to have the baby.
‘I don’t know if that was the right decision. If it had been left up to me alone, I never would have done it. And yet Justin was so sure that he didn’t want to be a father.’
According to AP, Britney also states: ‘Abortion was something I never could have imagined choosing for myself, but given the circumstances, that is what we did.’
In the book, Britney also reveals she was raised ‘not to get an abortion’ due to religious reasons and what she had learned from her family, reports TMZ.
Britney would later welcome sons Sean Preston, 18, and Jayden, 17 with Kevin Federline while Justin shares sons Silas, eight and Phineas, two with wife Jessica Biel.
Since the truth about the couple’s relationship has come to light, sources revealed to DailyMail.com that Justin had hoped that their decision to terminate the pregnancy would have remained a ‘secret forever.’
Is Justin Timberlake frustrated?
But despite any frustrations he may have, he will refrain from speaking out so as to not ‘get in the way’ of Britney’s chance to finally share her story.
Justin, who has previously showed his support for a woman’s right to choose, is said to be prepared for his past comments about Britney to be unearthed, and is conscious that his previous behavior could also resurface.
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The My Love hitmaker was said to be ‘concerned’ over what exactly Britney will detail about their past in the upcoming memoir, with a source telling Page Six: ‘He’s very curious what she’ll reveal from their relationship. It’s eating at him.’
So far, the singer has not just revealed their decision to terminate the pregnancy but has also accused him of cheating with a fellow celebrity.
Fans now could relate with one of her videos
A publishing insider previously denied the book was a ‘takedown’ of anyone, saying: ‘This is Britney finally getting a chance to tell her empowering story and it’s nothing more than that.’
Elsewhere, fans of Britney have claimed to discover a deeper meaning to her ballad, Everything, in light of her revelation about the abortion.
With lyrics including ‘I guess I need you, baby’, ‘seeing a face in her dreams’, and a music video showing the singer watching on as a baby is born, fans quickly surmised the song and video were reflecting on her heartbreaking abortion.
The haunting music video for Everytime saw Britney hounded by photographers, before eventually killing herself with prescription drugs and drowning in a bathtub.
