- The software engineer realized he was aromantic, meaning he experienced little or no romantic attraction to either sex, at about the age of 22
- He then came across Known Donor Registry, a website connecting alternative families and infertile couples with sperm donors, and also joined the Facebook group Sperm Donation USA
A 38-year-old asexual man from Maryland has fathered more than two dozen children and counting — without ever having sex.
Virgin Drew Sollenberger has been a prolific sperm donor for 16 years, which has led to 25 successful pregnancies for women across the country.
The software engineer realized he was aromantic, meaning he experienced little or no romantic attraction to either sex, at about the age of 22.
Yet ironically, he has always wanted to be a father since he was a teenager.
Self discovery
His love for children began when his older sister got pregnant at 18, and he spent a couple of years helping take care of his nephew.
‘I realized I really loved kids,’ he told DailyMail.com. As soon as he could, he started volunteering with children.
‘My only real complaint was the volunteering I had was more short-term. I’d watch a kid for a day, I’d be involved in this activity, and the kid would move on with their life.
‘It was fun, but I wasn’t sure it was long-term impactful — the kids weren’t going to remember me.’
But his drive to be a father clashed with his sexuality.
I want more..
Mr Sollenberger said: ‘I just never dated anyone, never wanted to, never met anyone I’m remotely interested in, which I’m fine with, but that means no nuclear family, no getting to be a traditional father. And that upset me.
‘I went half a year trying to tell myself, it’s okay, I can still volunteer, it’s good enough, but it was still bothering me.’
Mr Sollenberger considered fostering or paying for a surrogate but decided the latter was not an option because he said he donates all his money to charity.
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‘I could, but I won’t. That’s multiple lives that could be saved with that money instead; it’s not a good use of the money.’
He then came across Known Donor Registry, a website connecting alternative families and infertile couples with sperm donors, and also joined the Facebook group Sperm Donation USA because ‘it’s what everyone else uses.’
Now he has regular contact with eight of the children he helped conceive, seeing them roughly once a month to hang out at their houses or go to the beach.
‘I originally wanted a lot of contact [with the children]. I’ve pulled back on that for a number of reasons.’
Mr Sollenberger said his motivation for donating has changed ‘entirely’ from ‘donating because I wanted to have kids I could have a relationship with to donating because women needed more committed donors.’
He also started asking for less contact because he realized women were lying to him.
‘People will just lie to you and say they want contact when they don’t. So it’s better to tell them, I’ll give you what level you want, so that you will tell me what you actually want, rather than me getting up my hopes and then having them dashed over and over.’
