A pair of polyamorous mums who live with each other and their husbands claim they don’t know which men have fathered which of their children.
Taya Hartless and Alysia Rogers met online three years ago after looking to spice up their sex lives with husbands Sean and Tyler.
As the couples got to know each other better, they all began to have feelings for each other – and moved in together the following year in the US state of Oregon.
Although each couple already had a child of their own, the foursome went on to have two more children between them – but neither mum is sure whether Tyler or Sean is the biological father of the younger kids.
Taya, 27, insists it’s a detail that doesn’t matter anyway as the ‘quad’ parent all four children as their own.
She said: ‘None of us had been polyamorous before, but we all just met and fell in love.
Since we moved in together we all just co-parent all the children – we’re one big family unit, Taya said.
‘A lot of people don’t really understand polyamory, and think it is deviant or un-wholesome in some way.
‘It is true that it wasn’t always easy – it took me a while to admit I had feelings for someone else – and we definitely do get jealous sometimes.
‘But now it’s so natural to us all and I feel so grateful to have multiple partners to raise children with.
‘Why wouldn’t you want more love and support and more hands around? It’s a messy, hectic, crazy, wonderful life – and I can’t think of anything else we could ever want.’
Taya and hubby Sean, 45, met 35-year-old Tyler and 33-year-old Alysia for the first time in June 2019, after all chatting online for months.
And according to Taya, there was an instant spark between them.
She said: ‘From the first night we met, we all wanted to just see more of each other. It wasn’t easy – there was a lot of hesitations around having feelings.
‘Sean was the first to point it out – he said ‘we can’t deny this is happening’. We agreed to talk it out to see what the future would look like.
‘For example if I started to feel jealous that Sean is going out for a date with Alysia, it’s because I want to spend more time with him and that need is not being met.’
Taya explained that one of the biggest issues the family face is misunderstanding about what polyamory is, and negative reactions as a result.
Taya explained that many people question and don’t understand their relationship. The quad has faced ‘pushback’ from some close friends and family but has found support from the majority of their inner circle.
The families moved into a home early in 2020 and have happily lived as a quad family since. The women each have their own rooms, which the men rotate sleeping in each night.
‘A lot of people don’t really understand polyamory and think it is deviant or unwholesome in some way. It is true that it wasn’t always easy — it took me a while to admit I had feelings for someone else — and we definitely do get jealous sometimes,’ Taya admitted to SWNS.
Taya shared that, like all relationships, navigating an unconventional relationship can be a tricky but worthwhile process.
‘I don’t think we’ll ever stop learning and we know our relationship will be constantly changing. But we will roll with the punches and make it work,’ Taya said.
‘We are different from everyone else but that’s OK — and we have made it clear to our children that they can be whoever they want to be.’
Alysia, who works outside the home in economic development, happily discovered she was pregnant in August 2020, while stay-at-home mom Taya became pregnant in March 2021.
‘There was no regulation of who the father was and we said we didn’t care. We don’t know and don’t want to know — we said we would all be parents to all of them,’ Taya explained to SWNS.
Alysia gave birth to a boy on April 3, 2021. Taya gave birth to another son a few months later on Aug. 11, 2021.
‘I always find myself thinking about how much I love our life. I’m just really excited for the future and raising our kids together. I can’t wait to be the big, crazy family that all shows up together. It’s a messy, hectic, crazy, wonderful life — that about sums us up!’ Taya said.
The kids proudly tell everyone that they have ‘two moms and two dads,’ with the children calling Taya ‘mama’ and Alysia ‘mom,’ while Sean is ‘daddy’ and Tyler is ‘dad.’
