Communication is one of the very vital or important things required for a relationship to work. When you share good communication with your partner, there is hardly anything that can cause problems between you both. Although disagreements are inevitable, but with good communication, you both can sort things out. This brings us to the question, how can partners communicate effectively?
One thing to understand is that it involves you both, and not just one person alone. It also involves being able to come to an understanding together and working things out with little to minimal issue. Below are 6 very important commandments of vulnerable communication.
Be Totally Honest
As said earlier, this applies to you both. Transparency is vital for a good relationship. Come clean about everything and leave no secrets. You should leave anything hidden and try as much as possible to address every issue that concerns you both. However, you must do so with the other person in mind. Being totally honest with each other is a great step for effective communication.
You First
Yes we know you are not the only one in the relationship, but you are also part of it. There’s a saying that you can never truly love someone else if you don’t love yourself first. You must understand that your own happiness, your own mental state, your own emotions are important too. If you always choose to help the other party first, it will always come down to you being at the bottom. This is not a right to be selfish, but take care of yourself first before others.
Stand Your Ground
We all know that compromise is important in a relationship, but this does not mean you have to put aside your own needs all the time just to please the other. Know what you want and be willing to stand your ground for it. Do not allow yourself to be bullied or manipulated into changing your mind, especially when you know that what you want is good for you. Make you partner understand that you will not be so willing to compromise all the time.
Don’t Blame
You’re both in this together, so making your partner feel guilty or responsible for something that goes wrong is undeniably selfish. You should know that when things go haywire, you both have a part to play in it, and as such you both should also play a part in fixing it. It would be unfair to paint one as the saint and the other as a sinner.
Be Descriptive
No matter how well someone may claim to know you, they can never truly read your mind. If you want something from your partner, explain it to them. Tell them what you want, and just how you want it. Do not expect them to be able to read your mind at all times, open up and explain it to them.
Express Your Feelings And Emotions
If you don’t feel good about something, talk with them about it. Use the appropriate words and pronouns so as not to make them feel useless or monstrous. You should use more of the word “I”, than “you” when explaining something. This way, they will understand how you feel about something and not feel like you are attacking them.
All these rules will not really prove effective if you both do not make an effort to make it work. In the end, it all boils down to you both.
