Love of a lifetime – it’s the word that can make us feel everything and nothing at the same time. It’s complex, it’s mysterious, and it’s one of the most significant experiences we go through in life. But have you ever heard the saying that we fall in love with three
different people in our lifetime, each for a very specific reason? It sounds a bit like a cosmic checklist, right? Yet, when you break it down, it makes perfect sense. Let’s take a look at the idea that throughout our lives, we experience three distinct loves, each shaping us in ways we never imagined.
The First Love: The Innocent Love
Ah, the first love. For many, this happens during our teenage years, when the world feels fresh, and every emotion is a roller coaster. This is the love that feels like it could last forever—sweet, innocent, and pure. It’s the kind of love where you believe in happily ever afters and fairy tales.
This love is often more about idealism than reality. You’re in love with the idea of love itself. You’re young, you’re naive, and you have no idea how much love can change and grow. This love is usually filled with firsts—your first kiss, your first “I love you,” and maybe even your first heartbreak.
The thing about this first love is that it’s often more about learning than lasting. It teaches us what love feels like, what it means to care for someone else deeply.
However, it’s also a time when we’re still figuring out who we are, so this love may not be grounded in who we’ll become. It’s a beautiful, fleeting experience that sets the stage for what’s to come.
The Second Love: The Hard Love
If the first love is all about innocence, the second love is about growth—and sometimes pain. This is the love that’s intense, passionate, and often toxic. It’s the love that can turn your world upside down,
the one that feels like a whirlwind. It’s a love that challenges you, pushes your boundaries, and forces you to confront parts of yourself that you didn’t know existed.
This second love is usually the one that teaches us the hardest lessons. It’s the love where we often end up in patterns of trying to make it work, even when it’s clearly not meant to be.
It’s the relationship that can become a tug-of-war between what you want and what’s best for you. It’s the love that brings out our deepest fears, insecurities, and often, the worst in us.
But why do we fall for this person? Because this love is a mirror. It reflects our deepest wounds and insecurities, giving us a chance to face them head-on. We cling to this love because we think it’s what we deserve, and we often believe that if we can just
make it work, everything will be okay. But more often than not, this love is the one that shows us what love isn’t supposed to be. It’s the love that breaks us, but in that breaking, we learn what we need and what we truly want.
The Third Love: The Unexpected Love
Just when you think you’ve figured love out, along comes the third love—the one that’s completely unexpected. This love doesn’t come with grand expectations or idealistic fantasies.
It sneaks up on you, catching you off guard when you least expect it. This is the love that feels easy, like slipping into your favorite pair of jeans. It’s comfortable, it’s real, and it’s effortless.
This third love is often with someone who sees you for who you are, flaws and all, and loves you anyway. There’s no pressure to be someone you’re not, no need to impress or pretend.
This is the love that comes when you’ve stopped looking, when you’ve let go of what love should be and started accepting what it is.
The beauty of this third love is that it feels different because it is different. It’s not built on a foundation of past experiences or future expectations. It’s a love that happens in the present, a love that just is.
It’s the person who becomes your partner, your best friend, and your greatest support. This love isn’t always perfect, but it’s perfectly imperfect, and that’s what makes it so special.
Why Do We Need These Three Loves?
You might be wondering, why do we need to go through these three distinct loves? Can’t we just skip the heartache and get to the good part? Unfortunately, it doesn’t work that way. Each love serves a purpose in our lives, and without one, the others wouldn’t make as much sense.
The first love teaches us what love feels like. It’s the foundation upon which we build our understanding of relationships. The second love teaches us about who we are, what we need, and what we won’t
tolerate. It’s the love that helps us grow and sets the boundaries for our future relationships. The third love, the one that’s unexpected, is the love that shows us what it means to truly be loved for who we are.
These three loves aren’t necessarily chronological, nor are they mutually exclusive. Some people may experience all three with the same person, while others may experience them with different people
throughout their lives. What’s important is that each love contributes to our understanding of ourselves and what we truly want out of a relationship.
The Fourth Love: The Love We Give Ourselves
While the idea of these three loves is compelling, there’s another love that’s just as important—if not more so—and that’s the love we give ourselves.
Self-love is the foundation for all other types of love. It’s the love that sustains us when relationships fail, the love that helps us heal, and the love that guides us to the right person.
Without self-love, it’s easy to get lost in the first love’s idealism, trapped in the second love’s intensity, or overlook the third love’s simplicity.
Self-love teaches us to set boundaries, to know our worth, and to understand that we deserve to be loved fully and completely. It’s the love that makes all other loves possible.
Embracing the Journey
Love is one of life’s greatest teachers, and each of these three loves plays a crucial role in our personal growth. The journey through these relationships
helps us discover who we are, what we need, and what we truly want. It’s not always easy, and it’s often painful, but it’s also incredibly rewarding.
So, if you find yourself in the throes of your first love, savor it. If you’re caught in the intensity of your second love, remember that it’s teaching you valuable lessons. And if you’re lucky enough to have found your third love, cherish it for the gift that it is.
And above all, don’t forget to love yourself. Because at the end of the day, the most important relationship you’ll ever have is the one you have with yourself. That’s the love that will carry you through all the others, guiding you toward the happiness and fulfillment you deserve.
So, go ahead—fall in love, fall out of love, and then fall in love again. Embrace each of these loves for what they bring to your life, and know that each one is a step closer to understanding what love truly means. Love of a lifetime
